You’re probably thinking,”Okay, it’s Mother’s Day, therefore you’re going to write a sappy post about your mom. I’ve already unwillingly read 23 of these just be skimming my News Feed … spare me.”
Well, you are misinformed, my friend! I’m going to write about someone … who might be a mom … but who might be your dad, your sister, your high school English teacher, or your pet chinchilla. I’m not going to limit your imagination or your life experience.
Actually, this is a point system. Give yourselves points if you are this awesome, or if you know someone who is. If you didn’t win all the points, it’s not because you’re not awesome, it’s just because you’re probably not my mother.
You conceived and/or gave birth to a human being (+1 million)
You sacrificed life essentials like sleep, food, showers and money for a screaming little person over the past 25+ years (+100k)
You provided daily meals for three children with fast metabolisms for 15+ years (+1000)
And they didn’t all come from boxes (neither the food nor the children) (+29)
You didn’t roll your eyes when a little girl told you the world was ending because her bus driver gave her a dirty look (+55)
You continually told a gawky, bony, frizzy-haired, metal-mouthed, insecure 10-year-old girl that she was beautiful, and you meant it (+3000)
You let a “creative” teenage girl paint her bedroom walls bright yellow and her ceiling purple, and still asked for her interior design advice when painting the family room (+723)
Whenever you made cookies for the neighbors or your co-workers, you made sure at least one batch stayed home with your family (+99)
You’ve loved your children’s father (+500k)
You never fail to sound like you’ve won the lottery when you answer your children’s long-distance phone calls (+300)
You raised a child who is almost a little too care-free and laid-back, but only because her mother convinced her that everything would be okay in the end, and she hasn’t been wrong yet (+500)
How did you do? I did pretty miserably, but my mom scored a bajillion points!!! Way to go, mom! The list could have been much longer, but you get the idea. Today, give points to whoever has loved you well!